A Letter to the Innocent, From the Heart
This is a letter from a current patient to her still born child as she comes to grips with the tragedies of her past. We thank her for sharing this. The names have been changed to ensure privacy.
It’s almost been a year now, since we said our good-byes. I’ve always wanted to tell you how I’d pictured you before you came into this world. I always hoped that you heard me and daddy talking about our hopes for you and that we loved you before you closed your eyes for the last time. I miss you every day and daydream about how you would be. You’re almost a year old and I always wonder how your personality would be and how your smile would brighten up our days. I always thought you would change our lives for the better, but when we lost you our lives went out the window. I numbed the pain of losing you and I apologize.
I want to let you know you really did change our lives. I realized I wanted to be a mother. So me and daddy stopped numbing the pain of losing you and concentrated on the lesson we learned. We couldn’t cry anymore, couldn’t live on like you were the last and only, that we could try again. I know you’re somewhere watching me and daddy and growing. Your Aunt Beth has you now and I know you’re happy and alive in our hearts. What we want you to know, our fallen angel is you’ll forever live on in our hearts. I WILL get justice for you and for the sake of your everyday growing baby sister. You will be the theme of their room as you exist now in a [little] teddy bear that sleeps with me every night.
We’ll never ever forget our first born, even though some days it can be extremely painful. You’ll forever be locked in ALL our hearts. Nana, grandpa, granddaddy and grandma were looking forward to spoiling their first grandchild, just know the love they have for your cousin Marcus will never drown out the love they have for you. We all miss you and can’t wait to see you, when we meet again. I love you Sarah DeSmythe. Rest in Peace, our sweet fallen angel, you’re in good hands and I’ll see you again.