Six Common Detrimental Communication Habits

communicationThe following six simple communication habits can do great harm to your romantic relationship, and although they are easy to identify, we tend to do them on autopilot.[1] The challenge, therefore, is to notice that you are doing them and to stop yourself.1 Your relationship will thank you!

  1. Rolling Your Eyes When Your Partner Talks. By rolling your eyes, you are undermining everything that your partner is saying to you.1 There are only few things that are as dismissive as this act.1 Although you may not like what they are saying, or agree with it, rolling your eyes only increases the tension and makes things worse.1 It is a disrespectful act, and relationships are built on many things, including respect.
  2. Walking Out of the Room When Your Partner is Talking. There are plenty of situations where leaving the room is a valid response—volatile situations, for instance.1 However, there are also plenty of situations where it is not the correct thing to do—for instance, when you don’t agree with what you are hearing, when it is expressed in a calm manner.1 Oftentimes, leaving the room is done when people are confronted with issues that they just don’t want to deal with; however, leaving things unresolved only cause them to sit and fester until it’s too late to fix them and your relationship is through.1
  3. Arguing About What Your Partner Tells You They Feel. People have feelings, and telling them that they are wrong for having certain feelings is mind-boggling.1 It may be true that some are based on inaccurate interpretations of reality, but hearing them out, staying calm, and showing empathy for their feelings is a much healthier way of putting the subject to rest than arguing about it. Sure, they may blame you for how they feel, but if you sit and talk about it, the underlying issue will emerge and can be worked on.1 Validate their feelings, even if they are irrational.1 It’ll enable them to come to you in the future before it becomes a problem.
  4. Either Person Refusing to Apologize. Put your pride away and apologize when it is due. Many would rather be self-righteous than happy, but it doesn’t get you anywhere in life.1 In fact, refusing to admit a mistake does some serious damage to any intimate relationship.1 It isn’t possible to be in a happy relationship with someone who cares more about their own ego than establishing mutual respect.1
  5. One Word: Sarcasm. A cutting expression or remark, sarcasm can be funny when referring to the economy, the government, etc.1 However, it is certainly not funny when you are sarcastic towards your loved one.1 It’s hurtful, and often cuts through the heart to leave a scar.1 Years of sarcasm at someone’s expense kills intimacy.1
  6. Bickering. Pointless bickering—does it really matter who said what and when?1 Instead, isn’t it more important to figure out where you are now and move forward?1 A major roadblock to romance, bickering places a lot of blame on the other person, destroying peace of mind and creating mutual blame.1 Instead, cooperate with one another and resolve the situation you are in right now.1

[1] Bundrant, M. (2013). 7 Common Communication Habits that Damage your Relationship. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 20, 2013, from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/nlp/2013/11/7-common-communication-patterns-that-damage-your-relationship/

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